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50 Million Missing (Not a Loan, Not a 50 ml Bottle of Cologne!)

March 4, 2013

50 million what missingby Kiran Nizamani

In an interrogation room they brought me
Sat me down and asked me
I told them I am she,
They began with my name,
I answered Anathema,
Roopa, Anshu, Karishma
They said, “this is not a game!”

Again they asked “what is your name?”
I said my name has nothing to do with your claim,
They said “what if he brings you fame?”
I said that is too damn lame,
“But you are a lawyer, won’t your reputation be tamed?”
I have lived, silenced and in pain,
Isn’t that enough of a shame?

They asked, “isn’t all the load on your mind too heavy?
all the baggage that you carry?
How will people react to your story?
Will you be able to handle all the enquiry?
Followed by questions of agony?”
I said a woman’s mind has more horsepower than your chevy
And today I break my silence & tell you that my marriage wasn’t happy
None of my Christmas’ were merry
They were filled with misogyny

They asked “aren’t you afraid of being alone?”
I replied no, I’m afraid of becoming a clone,
They said “watch your tone”
I said you should’ve known
before you entered my zone
“Women, how the hell were you grown?”
I said if I told you, your mind would be blown
“The way you talk, every word is a targeted drone”
I wasn’t brought up on a throne
I know too much, all that isn’t shown
It breaks my body, it fractures my every bone
for all the sins, that they don’t atone
50 million missing, it’s not a loan
nor is it the 50 ml bottle of cologne

it’s the number of women,
lost, unknown
battered, stoned,
their bodies overthrown
in mud, uncovered like a war zone

only because of one possession
that too was God’s disposition
not in her hands, not her decision
her vagina
a place for their visit, like Regina
worse than what goes on in China

child starving,
poison feeding,
salt shoving,
they call it sacred, their butchering
in the name of witch lynching
and honour killing
hey hide their purpose of dowry billing
they continue kicking
until she is no longer breathing
in her own pool of blood she lies bathing

the essence of a women is far from missing
they can’t hide our true meaning

this issue is no longer local,
or even political
it is global
cities filled with men
families selling women to not 1 or 2 but 10
value of a female taken
naked, stripped, her dignity forsaken
ruptured, slowly begins the aching
when her child, her life, her confidence tortured is what they are aiming
staring up into the stars, looking
for God waiting
she wonders what was He creating
she begins questioning
His purpose, His reasoning

Though she never gave up living,
She believed He would send down a blessing,
He did, she named her Spring,
At first she was terrified what if they kill her, shaking
She held her firstborn, like a darling
Cuddled her gently patting
Not to her, she hoped God was watching
River of tears through her eyes flowing
Comforting her daughter with the painful, yet kind flooding
She screamed, no more, no more 50 million mounting
Louder she said, no more numbers rising

1 in 5 she had heard,
1 in 5 she confirmed
1 in 5
Not her chances at the raffle
Nor is it the count of those who believe in the bible
It is a number that is now archival
Five the number of minutes granted to 1 woman’s survival
After which they kill her, not with a rifle
Frankly that would be better, her pain minimal
but of course to them her needs are trivial

Sweden, Austria
Switzerland, Belgium
Portugal, combined
Imagine all their populations declined
to nothing, defined
by a single sign
X & Y, because X & X is no longer designed
That is what they want to do, be divine
so why do they marry and intertwine?
their DNA and wish to recombine
This process is malignant, no longer benign

I am still here though, this life is mine
my purpose is clear, redefined
to live for those that are confined
to such acts and assigned
to be automatic, robotic
and exotic
to those who are cruel and chaotic,
with thoughts that are neurotic,
causing innocent women to be hypnotic
it’s idiotic

It used to be,
now it’s femicide
how long till we all decide
that we won’t reside
in a world with so much pesticide
and pretend
and wait for the advent
of a miraculous event
to prevent
from 50 million going to zero percent

Rise now,
and take a vow
instead of just asking how
be the one to not allow
then maybe later you can take a bow.

©Kiran Nizamani 2013. All Rights Reserved.

Pledge to be the Voice of The 50 Million Missing Campaign to end female gendercide by clicking here.

12 Comments leave one →
  1. March 5, 2013 3:33 am


    • Kiran permalink
      March 7, 2013 2:05 pm

      Thank you Idelette! Your blog is awesome!

  2. March 5, 2013 10:49 am

    An incredible poem by a woman who knows who she is and won’t be compromised, nor will she allow others to be either. Thank you. Peace and Love, Sarah Tiers

    • Kiran permalink
      March 7, 2013 2:04 pm

      Thank you so much Sarah! Loads of love

  3. Lizzie L. permalink
    March 5, 2013 3:27 pm

    So true, when violence hits the millions we forget we are talking people here!

    • Kiran permalink
      March 7, 2013 2:05 pm

      Yeah! I couldn’t believe the numbers, it was unfathomable to think that these are human lives.

  4. Habben permalink
    March 7, 2013 7:55 pm

    Wow.. Kiran this was amazingg!! I loved it, I hope I get to see more of your work 🙂

    • Kiran permalink
      March 8, 2013 11:39 pm

      Thanks dear! I hope what I write spreads the word and is impact-full as long as that happens I’ll write more.

  5. June 5, 2013 8:27 am

    Reblogged this on kiranniz and commented:
    50 Million Missing
    A poem I wrote a while ago on female gendercide in India.

  6. Jodi-Ann Richards permalink
    August 12, 2013 5:06 am

    Nice poem! I like it,especially the ending because its a call to take action.

  7. December 13, 2013 5:26 am

    WOW… I have no idea how did i get here, but you are amazing. Many women does not know how to stand for themselves, and with your words i hope they do.

    • December 17, 2013 4:28 am

      haha thank you Khalid! I am very happy that you liked it, the society needs to stand up as one against this issue.

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