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A Message from Girendra Singh – Father Of A Dowry Victim

December 22, 2011

AnshuHappy Birthday-49This is a special post, where we bring to you a message from Girendra Singh, the father of Anshu Singh who was murdered only 6 weeks after her wedding.

Anshu, a well educated, professional young woman, deeply in love with the man she married,  was a victim of dowry greed and violence, and was killed by her husband and in-laws.   To read her story click here. The 50 Million Missing Campaign has been supporting Mr. Singh in his fight for justice, and we are happy to inform you that after 2 years of a lengthy battle in court and with the police, Mr. Singh has been able to get Anshu’s husband, and all her in-laws into prison, where they now await trial.

Here is the letter from Mr. Singh:

To All Indian Girls Who Are Going To Get Married and Their Parents,

From December onwards is the Marriage Season in India, and perhaps you are also planning your wedding.  I also got  my beloved daughter Anshu married on 12th December 2009, with the man of her choice.  A man she was in love with and wanted to marry.  I got her married so happily with all Pomp & Shows as happens in all educated middle Class Families in India.  But what had been the outcome of that marriage?  We lost our Anshu — and it feels that we lost everything in our life. It is too painful for me to even describe the whole episode here.

But my main aim to write this is to spread a message to the Brides who will get married this wedding season and to their family.  Please, please be very cautious before saying YES to any groom and his family.  Please beware that even if you think the husband loves you, like my Anshu thought her husband did, the husband can change from the very next day after the marriage and be no longer what you expect him to be.  And not only that, but the husband and his family once they start demanding more dowry,  their greed does not stop.   It only gets bigger and bigger and they want more and more after the bride goes to their house.

As the father of 3 daughters please accept my practical life experience — and I say this to all young Indian women who will be nice brides, and to their family.

I don’t want any girl and her family to go through their life like us. The pains and agonies of a grieved family are beyond the imagination and description on all fronts. The joy’s of life vanishes forever. Even today after 2 year’s, the family of Anshu is not able to attend any marriage.In every bride girls we see the face of our beloved Anshu and it becomes very much painful and beyond control to stay in those moments of happiness.  So to avoid the family of friends and brides, we have decided not to attend any marriage till the God gives us strength to do so.

We know the pain and agonies of loosing a beloved daughter, who was just like any ordinary girl, full of passion, of ambition — she wanted to touch the sky.  She was well educated, extremely fair and beautiful, having everything in life.  Anshu was a very bold and ambitious girl and was working in US based MNC and getting handsome salary. She loved us so much that she could not bear that we may go upto such despair over the game that destiny played with her life.  She left all family weeping.  The happiness and joy of our family has vanished away for ever it seems. In the absence of our beloved Anshu, our ultimate aim is that no girl and family in India and world should face such tragic sufferings.


Advice On How To Prevent Dowry Extortion and Violence

1 Dowry Murder Every 20 Minutes

Dowry Laws Every Indian Must Know

Dowry Murders Out of Control

Her In-Laws Fed Her Acid: Helping Roopa Survive

How High Profile International Celebrity Weddings in India Perpetuate Dowry Violence

Killed 45 Days After Her Wedding: Anshu’s Story

Murder By Fire: 136000 Women Every Year (Video Discussion)

Take Our Anti-Dowry Pledge! Be Counted!

War on Dowry: The 50 Million Missing Project

What is the Real Reason For Dowry Murders?

Dahej Lena Paap Hai; Sasur Nahi Saanp Hai! (poster)

14 Comments leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    December 22, 2011 2:50 pm

    My heart is broken to hear this girl’s story of exploitation and murder. As a male, I know how insensitive we can be and how blind we can be to the love that is in front of our face. Women deserve more than cruel men. I know there are good men in the world, but even the good men are cowards and don’t speak up against the evils of the dowry system. My heart goes out to all the women in India suffering under the dowry system. I vow never to attend a wedding where a dowry is given. I wish the world were ruled only by women. (niila keshava – atlanta, usa)

  2. December 23, 2011 4:03 pm

    from my friend: There should be end to this nonsense system….stricter law needed to curb…this system…it is a big blot on the image of this GREAT COUNTRY…One more thing people are afraid to have daughters due to this dowry system and that is why FEMALE FOETICIDE …takes place girl is murdered even before she enters this world….very very painful and sad reality…

  3. emery permalink
    January 18, 2012 12:41 am

    when I look into Anshu’s eyes in that picture at the beginning of this article (I’m assuming that’s her) I can see what a sweet, intelligent, young lady with a bright future ahead of her she was. that anyone other than the Taliban would want to harm her in any way I find shocking and deeply disturbing. I think those responsible for her terrible death should be lined up and shot! furthermore they should make everyone else who lived nearby and did nothing to intervene watch it! thanks to these jackasses endless potential was lost. Anshu might have started a successful business, become prime minister, or even prevented a terrorist attack! we’ll never know now that’s for shore. In case you haven’t noticed yet this story made me vary angry. I live in the United States so there isn’t much i can do about such cases other than try to inspire others who are in better positions to make a difference do so. I hope someone out there hears me.

  4. Linda Young permalink
    February 25, 2012 5:07 pm

    Sooooooo Heartbreaking!!!!! My prayers and love are with this family. The betrayal is horrendous. Wise decision in essence to participate in life again when the healing is enough. I’m sure that is what this lovely young woman would want.

  5. VICTIM permalink
    August 22, 2012 5:50 pm

    dear sir…

    today m also divorced becoz i wasnt able to gave dowry…. my in laws get me out saying my useless…. they took all things of mine…. my ex husband’s mother called me slut openly in public….. she took me by hair in public… she insulted my parents badly….. she did all this… becoz m a girl.. and they r boy’s party…..

    i am educated and earn triple than the boy… and she got to my work place… and spoilt my reputation there….. i lost my job tooo

    is marriage a curse?? or being a girl is curse???

    • August 23, 2012 6:38 am

      Neither marriage nor being a girl is a curse. The curse is greed and violence, and the kind of families and people who have no conscience, no morals and demand dowry, and inflict violence. It is true that Indian society needs to develop a moral conscience because most people are doing this, that is why no one spoke up in your case. But we are are speaking out and wanting change. A marriage that is violent and a society that has no moral conscience should be rejected. Why do you call this a curse? If you stayed in the marriage and got beaten or even killed — would that be a blessing? You are better than them. Why should you be with them? They are like trash. Why should you spoil your life living with people who are garbage? You are lucky — we hope you realize that. You are better than them. You deserve good people. Seek the goodness in your life. Reject that bad people.

    • VICTIM permalink
      August 23, 2012 7:40 am

      can no one punish them…. my husband loved me… we had love marriage…. but his mother made him also against me…. she took every action against me… yesterday also she get to court after all happened.. and made remarks that “see u are out from my son’s life’ I WON”

    • August 23, 2012 10:13 am

      But your husband is an adult. He is not a baby. He has his own brain. Why should you blame his mother? Tomorrow someone else will come along and tell him to kill you, and he kills you, who will you blame? It is important that you blame the right person, and when you choose to marry a man, he is the one who has to answer to you. He betrayed your trust. Unless you can recognize that, it will be hard for you to move on. Why would you want to be married to a man who is not trust worthy, who is not even capable of using his own brains and making his own decisions? He sounds like a terrible man. We hope you realize how lucky you are to get rid of him. Don’t see this as a loss. He is not worth loving! This is your chance to be free of a very negative man. Count your blessings.

    • VICTIM permalink
      August 23, 2012 10:31 am

      i think u r rite…. he took my responsibility…. and he was not able to fulfill that…..

      can only say one think… thankx…. i was about to commit suicide wth such a mess in my mind….

    • August 24, 2012 9:23 am

      Please know that your life and happiness and health are your responsibility. You already seem a much better and more capable person than this man you married? Would you do to this man what he did to you? You also took a vow of love and responsibility. If your mother told you to abuse this man, and throw him out, would you do it just because your mother said so? No you wouldn’t because you are an intelligent and responsible person. Would this man kill himself because of you? No he wouldn’t. So why would you? Do you recognize that you are a much better person than he is? Do you believe that you deserve a much better man than this man. Somebody who like you knows how to love and fulfill their responsibility to a partner? We hope you will heal, that you will realize that you deserve much better, and find a new life and path for yourself. Our love and support is with you.

    • VICTIM permalink
      August 24, 2012 9:34 am

      thanku…thanks a ton!!!!

  6. Neha permalink
    June 12, 2013 11:52 am

    uncle…….please let me know that they got the punishment or still things are just moving like this only….its been more then 3 years that we have lost Anshu but have we got the justice on this. Neha

  7. Mike K permalink
    June 17, 2013 11:35 pm

    Hi to every one, keep up the good work fellows.

  8. Jodi-Ann Richards permalink
    August 18, 2013 11:23 am

    Thank you for sharing, Mr.Singh.

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