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What Do Mothers’ Teach Their Daughters About Violence?

July 20, 2010

photo credit: Corrie Nakamura ©. All Rights Reserved.


Our mother’s and grandmothers have, more often than not anonymously, handed on the creative spark, the seed of the flower they themselves never hoped to see, or a sealed letter they could not plainly read. In search of my  mother’s garden,  I found my Own — Alice Walker


Rosjke Hasseldine in her article in the F-Word,  Lifting the veil on mothers and daughters talks about the unexamined dimension of violence in societies.  While much has been written on how fathers or father figures serve as a model for men in the perpetuation of abusive behavior and violence on women, not much has been written on the mother-daughter angle of this issue.

Understanding the dynamics between mothers and daughters [is critical] to understanding how girls and women are affected by gender inequality, sexism, violence, emotional silence and the attitude that females are there to serve.

How mothers and daughters get on is at its base influenced by how women are treated within the family and our culture.

When a mother is disempowered herself and cannot teach her daughter how to claim her own voice and truth, the daughter ends up being angry at her mother for showing her a disempowered picture of femininity.

A daughter looks to her mother to find what it means to be female. If a mother shows her daughter a picture of femininity that requires silence and a crumbling up of wishes and dreams, her relationship with her daughter will be harmed.

[There is a necessity to address] Issues like how heard and supported the daughter feels by her mother. Issues of boundaries, control, emotional support, and expectations.

Read the whole article here on F-Word.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Adv Mini Mathew permalink
    July 20, 2010 3:23 pm

    absolutlely. this resonates with me.

  2. July 28, 2010 8:55 am

    good writing, i like it waiting your next writing

  3. September 9, 2010 4:26 pm

    Terrific, that’ s exactly what I was seeking for! You just spared me alot of work

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