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by Rita Banerji
As a feminist activist who has worked on systemic violence on Indian women for over fifteen years, I have long waited for India to produce a film like Parched. Directed by Leena Yadav with a strong, all-female, central cast, there is a cinematic beauty and integrity to the film’s narrative that undoubtedly are among the factors that have earned it eighteen international awards and a place in the Oscar library. But what makes this film particularly memorable, is how without cringing it makes a number of explicit and discomforting statements on how women need to deal with male violence which, even if presented within an Indian cultural context, have universal relevance.
Parched is the story of three women, Lajjo, Rani and Bijli, in an Indian village and how their friendship helps them triumph misogyny and male violence in their personal lives. Lajjo (played by Radhika Apte), is a talented seamstress whose drunken husband grudges her being barren, and beats her up daily. Rani, (played by Tannishtha Chatterjee), was widowed young and spent all her life supporting her mother-in-law and unruly son. She takes a loan on her house to buy a child bride, Janaki (played by Lehar Khan) for her son. And then there’s Bijli (played by Surveen Chawla), who works for the local adult entertainment company as a dancer and a prostitute. She seems the most worldly-wise and resourceful of the friends, and in control of how she negotiates her life.
Below I share my five favorite feminist takeaways from Parched in no particular order:
- Men who are sexual predators outside are the same men who are predators at home.
Rani’s hooligan son who roams the streets with his male friends stalking and sexually harassing women, and soliciting prostitutes he can’t pay, also violently rapes his child bride whenever the mood suits him. One-third of the world’s child brides live in India, and this is perhaps one of the very few mainstream Indian films that unflinchingly shows the kind of sexual and other abuse under-age married girls are subject to. However, even in adult marriages about 60% of Indian men admit to physically abusing and raping their wives. Indian women are also particularly vulnerable to sexual violence from other family men, as shown at the start of the film where a woman begs the village to not force her to return to her husband, as her brothers-in-law and father-in-law were sexually abusing her.
- Women often unthinkingly or as a survival strategy, perpetuate the system that enables male violence.
Rani who was herself a child bride robotically perpetuates the cycle of violence she endured by buying a child bride for her son, silently witnessing his sexual abuse of her, and justifying it through her own passive abuse of the girl. Rani is initially resentful of her friends being critical of her son’s behavior, but eventually she makes the connection between the violence she has endured and the violence she is perpetuating. In helping her daughter-in-law escape, Rani finds the courage to seek her own path of freedom. She also recognizes her own role in the perpetuation of an oppressive, patriarchal system in how she raised her son. In a parting shot to her son, Rani delivers one of the most important lines of the film “Don’t try to be a man. Learn to be human first.”
- How men and women define their individual sexual identities directly impacts on their response to male violence.
Men whose individual identities are invested in the collective, hierarchical, patriarchal order, are more likely to use sexual violence as a weapon of power. Often it’s a means of establishing their position in the pecking order by asserting their ‘malehood.’ Rani’s son and his gang of friends who stalk and harass women, and find their entertainment in porn and prostitution, bond by asserting their sexual prowess over each other. Conversely, women are socially conditioned to define their sexuality in terms of how they serve the patriarchy’s needs, and so they are virgin, wife, mother and whore. The more aware a woman is about sex as her personal identity, need, expression and choice, the more likely she is to reject behavior that reduces her to an ‘owned good’ to be labeled, used and abused at will. We see Lajjo routinely and silently enduring extreme physical brutality from her husband who faults her for being barren. However, when Bijli convinces Lajjo that likely it’s her husband who is infertile, it’s an eye-opener for Lajjo. When Bijli arranges her meeting with a certain mystic lover, Lajjo not only gets pregnant but for the first time experiences sexual ecstasy, and discovers a confidence about her own needs which helps her stand up to her husband. Similarly, Rani as a young widow, in keeping with social expectations has long squashed her libido. She owns a mobile phone which the village committee had objected to for all women. Through the phone Rani connects with an unknown admirer who she never meets, but through whom she experiences an awakening of her sexuality which she secretly relishes. In a subtle act of symbolic sexual rebellion the women giggle over their use of that mobile as a vibrator. While mobile phones have been banned in many Indian villages because the men believe it ‘ruins’ women, it is a pointer to how social restrictions set on women through clothing, behavior, movement and laws are always a means of controlling women’s sexuality, and thereby a revolution.
- It is an illusion for women to assume they can exert bodily agency and choice within the framework of a patriarchal system for which women are commodity.
At the start of the film Bijli, who works for the local adult entertainment company as a pole dancer and a prostitute, is shown to be in control of her life and choices as she negotiates the terms of her work with her boss. She refused clients if they didn’t suit her liking and asserted that it did not matter if they had good money, as her shop was ‘closed.’ This is shown in sharp contrast with Rani’s daughter-in-law, who has no choice but to submit to her husband’s sexual abuse as he believes that by having paid a dowry he has bought the right to use her as and when he wants. Bijli though understands only too well that for the men, she, as all women, is only a sexual product. But even as she regards this view with contempt, she’s confident of her ability to hold her place in their misogynistic world. However, when one of the company’s workers who she assumed was in love with her, turns out to be only interested in stealing her from the company to become her pimp, she decides to chuck the system and strike out independently. When her new client subjects her extreme sexual violence, she realizes that her belief in her agency and choice was only an illusion. Her protection was guaranteed only as long as she was a product whose use was negotiated between men.
- Freedom from male violence should never be a lonely and frightening journey for any woman. When women connect and pool their resources, they’ll be able to combat male violence and break free of its prison.
If one goes through stories of women who struggle against gender violence and injustice, from any part of the world, we often find these women to be alone and vulnerable. This is particularly true for when that violence happens within a family or community. The film puts the onus on women to reach out to each other, share their stories, and pool their energies and resources to fight the system of male violence. The final segment of the film shows the three women driving off into the open space in a quirkily painted open, three-wheeler, discussing their plans and options, as they leave their houses and village behind.
This conclusion was particularly interesting to me, because it almost inverted the classic approach of the feminist movement. Much of feminist outrage today is outwardly directed. We take our slogans out onto the streets demanding safety in our public and work spaces. But the message of the film that women everywhere need to heed is that we must, first, bring the feminist revolution into our homes where male violence is bred. If women cannot be safe from male violence at home, they cannot expect to be safe from the same men outside.
Nov 28, 2015
Aradhana is a 30-yr-old woman from Noida in northern India who recently wrote to the Indian Prime Minister about the distress she felt each time a prospective groom turned her down because her family couldn’t give him the dowry he demanded. She wants the Prime Minister to give her financial help to ensure she gets married on Dec 02, as planned, or else she has threatened to commit suicide. Aradhana because of her family’s poverty could not study beyond class 10, and had to help by doing menial jobs. In her letter to the PM she wrote:
“My wedding was fixed several times in the past few years, but it never happened as my family could not meet dowry demands. With great difficulty, my father (a gardener) found a match for me about 10 months ago. He is a driver and lives in Dankaur, Greater Noida. However, I am afraid that this time too my wedding may not take place as it has already been postponed once. If this time something goes wrong, I will kill myself as I don’t want to be a burden on my family. I am trying to educate my siblings but it is tough.”
The question is how should the government help Aradhana? Should the Indian government give her family the dowry money, even though dowry is illegal in India, and the demands keep escalating and thousands of women get killed even after paying dowry? Or should the government take legal action against this and all the prospective grooms and their families for making an illegal and criminal demand? If Aradhana is bent on paying dowry to get married, will either of these steps prevent her from getting killed?
26 Nov, 2015, UP,
26-year-old Pinki was burnt to death for dowry by her husband and in-laws in Rudauli village. A case has been registered against Pinki’s husband Ram Samujh Nishad and his mother by the victim’s mother at Aserwa police station. Police say investigations are on. http://www.business-standard.com/article/pti-stories/26-year-old-woman-burnt-to-death-over-dowry-115112900774_1.html
More than 106,000 women were estimated to be burnt to death for dowry in one year. Most of these cases are dismissed as accidents and suicides and the women never get justice. Read the report here: https://genderbytes.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/video-murder-by-fire-100000-women-a-year/
Maharashtra, 4 Nov 2015
35 year old Sakhu Dangda was beaten to death by her husband for refusing to cook the mutton dish he wanted for dinner.
An Indian college student, Nikita Azad, started an online campaign ‘Happy to Bleed,‘ to protest against extreme cultural taboos that menstruating girls and women are subject to in India. She launched the campaign after a temple announced that women would be allowed to enter only after the invention of a machine to detect whether or not they are having their periods! Many young women have supported this campaign by posting photos of themselves with menstrual pads or tampons and signs with the hashtag #HappyToBleed. Some Hindu temples in India have notices displayed prohibiting menstruating women. Of course there is no way to tell whether or not a woman is menstruating, and many Hindu women voluntarily don’t enter when they are menstruating. A few years ago, a prominent actress was arrested and taken to court, because she confessed to someone that she had on one instance entered a temple while she was menstruating. Read that post here https://genderbytes.wordpress.com/2010/12/17/is-it-a-crime-to-menstruate/
West Bengal, 24 Nov 2015
Three days after a 16-year-old school girl was gang-raped and killed in Kakdwip, a West Bengal district, police finally filed a complaint. The police move came after a public interest litigation was filed before the Calcutta High Court seeking a CID probe, and the victim’s family and locals staged demonstrations and refused to cremate the body accusing the police of refusing to register a rape case despite receiving a complaint.
A group of young people in the Nawabpet village of Telangana in Southern India, have started an effective anti-dowry campaign in their village. Instead of preaching to men to not take dowry, which is usually the method used by most anti-dowry campaigns, and that have not proved very successful so far, what these young people are doing is asking married men who took dowry, to return the money. The campaign is called ‘Katnam Vaapasi’ (repay dowry). On 21st October, 2015, inspired by the movement 10 men in the village, some of who had married 5 years ago, returned the money they had taken from their wife’s family in dowry. The village women congregated in large numbers to witness the event. They said they were happy about the campaign which they hoped will bring peace to their lives. Dowry is illegal anyway, and more than 106000 women are killed for dowry in India. Perhaps this is the only effective way forward for India in the fight against dowry.
LINKS ON DOWRY
106,000 Women burnt to death for dowry in one year
News Reports on Dowry Violence and Murders